How to Ask for Therapy: A Guide

For Teens Asking Parents:

  1. Choose the Right Moment:
    Find a calm time when your parents aren't distracted. Maybe during a quiet evening or a drive when it's easier to talk without interruptions.

  2. Be Honest About Your Feelings:
    Start with how you've been feeling. For example, "I've been feeling really stressed/sad/anxious lately, and I think talking to someone who isn't part of our family could help."

  3. Explain Why You Want Therapy:
    Let them know why you think therapy would be helpful. You can say, "I think therapy could give me a safe space to talk about things I'm struggling with and help me understand my feelings better."

  4. Share Your Needs:
    Reassure them that you’re not blaming anyone. Say something like, "This isn't about you or anything you've done. I just think it would be good for me to have someone to talk to."

  5. Ask for Their Support:
    Directly ask for their help, "Can you help me find a therapist?" or "Would you support me in going to therapy?" This makes it clear that you're asking for their support, not permission.

  6. Be Ready for Questions:
    Your parents might have questions or concerns. Be open and patient, explaining that therapy is a way to learn more about yourself and get support.

  7. Give Them Time:
    They might need a little time to process what you’ve said. That’s okay. The important thing is that you've opened up the conversation.

For Parents Asking Teens:

  1. Create a Safe Space for the Conversation:
    Choose a moment when your teen seems relaxed and open, like during a quiet dinner or a casual walk. Ensure they know this is a safe, non-judgmental space.

  2. Express Your Observations:
    Gently share what you’ve noticed without sounding accusatory. For example, "I've noticed you've been feeling down/stressed/anxious lately, and I want to make sure you're okay."

  3. Show Empathy:
    Validate their feelings by saying, "I know being a teen can be really tough, and it’s completely okay to need some extra support."

  4. Introduce Therapy as a Resource:
    Explain therapy in a positive light: "Therapy can be a helpful way to talk things through with someone who isn't part of our family, someone who can really listen and help you understand your feelings."

  5. Normalize the Idea:
    Share that it's common and okay to need support. You might say, "Lots of people go to therapy at different points in their lives. It's a way to take care of your mental health, just like going to the doctor is for your physical health."

  6. Ask for Their Thoughts:
    Involve them in the decision-making process by asking, "How do you feel about the idea of talking to a therapist?" This shows you respect their opinion and are not just making the decision for them.

  7. Offer Support and Options:
    Let them know you’re there to support them, "If you're open to it, I can help find someone you might feel comfortable talking to. We can even meet a few therapists to find the right fit."

  8. Be Open to Their Response:
    Your teen might not be ready right away, and that’s okay. Keep the lines of communication open, letting them know that this is an option whenever they feel ready.