How to Ask for Therapy: A Guide

Two people in a scenic outdoor setting, one holding a bouquet of wildflowers, smiling at each other.

For Teens Asking Parents:

  1. Choose the Right Moment:
    Find a calm time when your parents aren't distracted. Maybe during a quiet evening or a drive when it's easier to talk without interruptions.

  2. Be Honest About Your Feelings:
    Start with how you've been feeling. For example, "I've been feeling really stressed/sad/anxious lately, and I think talking to someone who isn't part of our family could help."

  3. Explain Why You Want Therapy:
    Let them know why you think therapy would be helpful. You can say, "I think therapy could give me a safe space to talk about things I'm struggling with and help me understand my feelings better."

  4. Share Your Needs:
    Reassure them that you’re not blaming anyone. Say something like, "This isn't about you or anything you've done. I just think it would be good for me to have someone to talk to."

  5. Ask for Their Support:
    Directly ask for their help, "Can you help me find a therapist?" or "Would you support me in going to therapy?" This makes it clear that you're asking for their support, not permission.

  6. Be Ready for Questions:
    Your parents might have questions or concerns. Be open and patient, explaining that therapy is a way to learn more about yourself and get support.

  7. Give Them Time:
    They might need a little time to process what you’ve said. That’s okay. The important thing is that you've opened up the conversation.

Two women seated on rocks with mountains and forest in the background, a white basket nearby.

For Parents Asking Teens:

  1. Create a Safe Space for the Conversation:
    Choose a moment when your teen seems relaxed and open, like during a quiet dinner or a casual walk. Ensure they know this is a safe, non-judgmental space.

  2. Express Your Observations:
    Gently share what you’ve noticed without sounding accusatory. For example, "I've noticed you've been feeling down/stressed/anxious lately, and I want to make sure you're okay."

  3. Show Empathy:
    Validate their feelings by saying, "I know being a teen can be really tough, and it’s completely okay to need some extra support."

  4. Introduce Therapy as a Resource:
    Explain therapy in a positive light: "Therapy can be a helpful way to talk things through with someone who isn't part of our family, someone who can really listen and help you understand your feelings."

  5. Normalize the Idea:
    Share that it's common and okay to need support. You might say, "Lots of people go to therapy at different points in their lives. It's a way to take care of your mental health, just like going to the doctor is for your physical health."

  6. Ask for Their Thoughts:
    Involve them in the decision-making process by asking, "How do you feel about the idea of talking to a therapist?" This shows you respect their opinion and are not just making the decision for them.

  7. Offer Support and Options:
    Let them know you’re there to support them, "If you're open to it, I can help find someone you might feel comfortable talking to. We can even meet a few therapists to find the right fit."

  8. Be Open to Their Response:
    Your teen might not be ready right away, and that’s okay. Keep the lines of communication open, letting them know that this is an option whenever they feel ready.